Dienstag, 19. Dezember 2017

Das gute Zitat (Doppelausgabe)

"People who make that 'ahhh' sound after taking a sip of their drink. For fuck's sake, you're an adult. What on earth compels you to make that goddamned sound? You did not just swim fifty meters under water, there's absolutely no way that swallowing a tiny sip of liquid left you with no air in your lungs. If you're not gasping for air, then why are you still making that sound? Oh, you want to let me know that you're enjoying that drink. Well, ever considered to simply TELL ME THAT you insipid shitstain?"

"Also, people who put those stupid stick figure family stickers on their cars. Hey, random guy in the SUV ahead of me: I don't know you, and therefore I give two shits about how many people are in your family, nor do I care to see them individually represented in stick figure form. What do you want, some kind of cookie for reproducing? Congratu-fucking-lations, asshole, you plowed the putrid depths of your wife's womanhood enough times to impregnate her. You are truly a Prometheus in your unique reproductive abilities. Fuck off." 

----- aus dem inzwischen in den Untiefen des Forenarchivs von "Something Awful" versunkenen Threads "Trivial Things That Unreasonably Enrage You"

Keine Kommentare:

Kommentar posten