"Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem.
'Hey man, you know how people get a paper towel when they need one?' - 'Yeah, they just take their hand and pull it, and then they have one.' - 'Yeah, yeah ... we're gonna change that. We're gonna use lasers and make it really complicated.' - 'That seems pretty unnecessary.' - 'Extremely unnecessary, yeah, that's the idea. We're gonna work on the sinks, too.' - 'Oh yeah? What are you gonna do there?' - 'We're gonna get rid of the hot and cold handles and just have a sensor and let them conjur the water to get it out of the faucet, like a little rain dance with their hands.' - 'But then they won't be able to adjust the water temperature.' - 'Fuck 'em!'"
--- Demetri Martin